Ephesians 4:22

Thursday, November 14th, 2002
4:04 pm - henry's mu'ffuckin birfday

today was henry's birthday and he wanted grand theft auto vice city cause that's what we got for joel for his birthday on sunday. me, joel, and joseph chipped in money to buy henry's present and in algebra class, i had to wrap it in a book cover because joel bought the gift and he also let me borrow the money for my share. on my first try, it wasn't very successful because i had excess paper leftover and it looked all crinkled and ghetto. then i got a hall pass from the teacher and walked to the bookroom to get another book cover. it took me all period cause the rapper guy kept on telling jokes and i kept cracking up. then i wrote "happy mu'ffucking birthday nigga" on the front and wrote "from: joel (with 2 big ears on the sides of the o), vincent (=X =X =X =X =X =X), and joseph (with a -_- on the o). all in all it looked pretty nice but stupid joel erased "mu'ffucking" and on the back he wrote "joel paid for the whole thing." stupid flip. he thinks he's all smart but he's fucking dirty and ashy. i scratched his arm and all this ash fell from it and it felt like i was scratching an old lady or somethin. then at lunch there was a packet of taco sauce on the floor and i stepped on it cause i was wondering if there were anymore left in there. and then i guess i stepped on it too hard, and coincidentally, henry was standing right in front of me, and instead of going on his shoes or his pants, it went on his new sweater! damn i felt so bad and then joseph tried to be funny and kept on trying to stone-cold stun me. Happy birfday you nigga. HA stupid joel try to erase that u dirty filipino.

This is an entry from my friend Vince's livejournal. The date on it was over six years ago, when I was a sophmore in high school. I think I can speak for absolutely everyone when I say that we are very different from how we were six years ago. There's the obvious physical and circumstantial differences. I don't have that stupid haircut anymore, I put on a little (but not much more) weight, and my brother hit a borderline unfair growth spurt.

But things are different in much more significant matters as well. The person who wrote that entry six years ago is no longer alive. The question that I'm left with after reading this entry is, is the subject of the entry still alive as well? Is the same impulsive, hedonistic, duplicitous, arrogant, pugnacious 15-yr old still around?

What makes this question important is that in Ephesians 4:22, Paul emphasizes the importance of laying aside the old self. Prima facie, I think it's easy for me to say that I have set aside the old me. I spend my Sunday mornings and Friday nights in way that my 15-yr old counterpart never would have, I have the "religious views" box filled in on my Facebook profile, and I know who Chris Tomlin is. But that's nothing more than what's on the surface - prima facie.

Unfortunately, I think I fail when it comes to Paul's urging. Just because I hold my tongue doesn't mean that I am rid of the bitterness I harbored before. Just because I haven't choked off a bong rip in years doesn't mean I have stopped letting the worthless objects of the world have such a profound influence on me. And just because I pray before I sleep doesn't mean that I am truly repenting of my sin-ridden self.

But, in Christ, I will always have hope. The single most important event of my life from Nov. 14, 2002 until now was when I came to know Christ, and I'm going to redouble my efforts to truly show that it is. No matter what the world throws at me, it will be an awesome year. Praise God, and bring it on.

P.S. In the entry I quoted above, my French II teacher saw the GTA: Vice City game that was wrapped in the book cover and she was reading what my friends wrote on it. When she got to the "Happy Birthday Niga" part (it was missing a second "g"), she kept reading the "Niga" over and over trying to figure out what it was. She then asked another student what a "nye-gah" was and the student replied "try pronouncing it another way". She then looked at it again, said "oh my" and handed it back to me with a shocked look on her face. Classic Vince.