Piecing Together the Rotten Apple

Anything I'm missing from the list? Let me know people! 

Does Stu Lantz have ESP? (or maybe he just has amazing hearing)

Whenever you watch Laker games on KCAL9, you are graced by the voices of Stu Lantz and Joel Meyers. They're not exactly the best commentating team (how awesome would it be to have Tommy Smyth commentating NBA games) but they do say some bizarre things that keep the games entertaining during the lulls (e.g. away @OKC). 

I'm sure many people have picked up on this but Stu Lantz loves to make up dialogue for what's happening on the floor. He likes to make up for KCAL's lack of TNT's "Wired" (where they put a mic on a player) by sticking in his own dialogue about what they are saying (or sometimes...gasp...what they are THINKING).

Exhibit A:

On a fast break play with Kobe and Ariza vs. the Bulls. Kobe throws a lob up backwards for Ariza to finish at the rim but Ariza passes it back.

What probably happened

KB24: This n00b better finish this alley-oop

TA3: F&*#* what kind of retard pass is this, now I have to try and save it

KB24: My team sucks, time for a trade demand

What Stu says happened

TA3: I don't want it

KB24: Ok, I do!

Exhibit B:

On an alley-oop from Gasol to Kobe vs. the Pistons.

What probably happened

PG16: !Tomar la bola saltando hombre negro¡

KB24: WTF you say to me? Ship your ass out!

What Stu says happened

PG16: Go get it!

Kobe: Oh? Go get it? That's my nickname!

Make sure to listen for it next time. Nothing says "Stu-ism" like faux, corny dialogue between Laker teammates. 

Ephesians 4:22

Thursday, November 14th, 2002
4:04 pm - henry's mu'ffuckin birfday

today was henry's birthday and he wanted grand theft auto vice city cause that's what we got for joel for his birthday on sunday. me, joel, and joseph chipped in money to buy henry's present and in algebra class, i had to wrap it in a book cover because joel bought the gift and he also let me borrow the money for my share. on my first try, it wasn't very successful because i had excess paper leftover and it looked all crinkled and ghetto. then i got a hall pass from the teacher and walked to the bookroom to get another book cover. it took me all period cause the rapper guy kept on telling jokes and i kept cracking up. then i wrote "happy mu'ffucking birthday nigga" on the front and wrote "from: joel (with 2 big ears on the sides of the o), vincent (=X =X =X =X =X =X), and joseph (with a -_- on the o). all in all it looked pretty nice but stupid joel erased "mu'ffucking" and on the back he wrote "joel paid for the whole thing." stupid flip. he thinks he's all smart but he's fucking dirty and ashy. i scratched his arm and all this ash fell from it and it felt like i was scratching an old lady or somethin. then at lunch there was a packet of taco sauce on the floor and i stepped on it cause i was wondering if there were anymore left in there. and then i guess i stepped on it too hard, and coincidentally, henry was standing right in front of me, and instead of going on his shoes or his pants, it went on his new sweater! damn i felt so bad and then joseph tried to be funny and kept on trying to stone-cold stun me. Happy birfday you nigga. HA stupid joel try to erase that u dirty filipino.

This is an entry from my friend Vince's livejournal. The date on it was over six years ago, when I was a sophmore in high school. I think I can speak for absolutely everyone when I say that we are very different from how we were six years ago. There's the obvious physical and circumstantial differences. I don't have that stupid haircut anymore, I put on a little (but not much more) weight, and my brother hit a borderline unfair growth spurt.

But things are different in much more significant matters as well. The person who wrote that entry six years ago is no longer alive. The question that I'm left with after reading this entry is, is the subject of the entry still alive as well? Is the same impulsive, hedonistic, duplicitous, arrogant, pugnacious 15-yr old still around?

What makes this question important is that in Ephesians 4:22, Paul emphasizes the importance of laying aside the old self. Prima facie, I think it's easy for me to say that I have set aside the old me. I spend my Sunday mornings and Friday nights in way that my 15-yr old counterpart never would have, I have the "religious views" box filled in on my Facebook profile, and I know who Chris Tomlin is. But that's nothing more than what's on the surface - prima facie.

Unfortunately, I think I fail when it comes to Paul's urging. Just because I hold my tongue doesn't mean that I am rid of the bitterness I harbored before. Just because I haven't choked off a bong rip in years doesn't mean I have stopped letting the worthless objects of the world have such a profound influence on me. And just because I pray before I sleep doesn't mean that I am truly repenting of my sin-ridden self.

But, in Christ, I will always have hope. The single most important event of my life from Nov. 14, 2002 until now was when I came to know Christ, and I'm going to redouble my efforts to truly show that it is. No matter what the world throws at me, it will be an awesome year. Praise God, and bring it on.

P.S. In the entry I quoted above, my French II teacher saw the GTA: Vice City game that was wrapped in the book cover and she was reading what my friends wrote on it. When she got to the "Happy Birthday Niga" part (it was missing a second "g"), she kept reading the "Niga" over and over trying to figure out what it was. She then asked another student what a "nye-gah" was and the student replied "try pronouncing it another way". She then looked at it again, said "oh my" and handed it back to me with a shocked look on her face. Classic Vince.

Yes, I Did

from Postsecret

I'm excited about what the future holds for this country. I desperately hope that the 44th President will be more than an empty suit speaking forceful words. I'm not completely sold on Obama yet, but I am looking forward to being proven wrong.

It was quite an experience voting for the first time today. I woke up early enough so that I could go to my polling place as soon as it opened. The day started by digging through my dirty clothes and picking the ones that smelled acceptable. I was tired but I read about the free coffee ad Starbucks so I was running on some form of pseudo-caffeine when I walked into the polling place. My heart skipped a beat when the poll worker couldn't find my name on the list of registered voters. I had been bugging Angy to register and go out and vote and I threatened to kill Jasmine if she didn't vote the night before so, needless to say, I would have looked incredibly stupid if I didn't cast my own ballot. Fortunately, the absence of my name on the list was just a minor oversight and I stamped a couple bubbles here and there and jammed my ballot into something that looked like the bastard child of a paper shredder and R2D2. 

I felt a little embarrassed asking for the cashier for a free tall of coffee, not because I was embarrassed about asking for free stuff but because of the evil eye and curt nod she gave me. However, the barista who handed me my coffee was friendly enough such that I felt only slightly pathetic. Then I took a step outside, felt the temperature drop a good 20 degrees, glanced at the overcast skies, and felt damn proud to be an American.

Voting is awesome.

The Burger Court and Why You Can't Always Have it Your Way (or Why I am Flip Flopping on the 11th Hour)

What to do with Prop 8...

A "yes" vote entails - ultra-conservative, narrow-minded fascist who endorses discriminatory practices to preserve a status quo

A "no" vote entails - godless homosexual with no respect for traditional family values which potentially opens the floodgates for all sorts of abhorrent sins

Not voting at all entails - coward who should move to Saudi Arabia where all legislative agendas will comfortably be picked for you by the royal powers that be

Obviously, these are all gross exaggerations (except for "not voting at all". if you don't want to do your basic duty as a citizen, then you are a motherf****** p*****). 

Anyone who has talked to me about the issue, overheard me talking  about the issue, talked to another person about my opinions on the issue, or inferred from my facial expressions my opinion on the issue knows that I am a "no" voter on Prop. 8.  

Why?  Simply, it is unconstitutional. 

Our government's job is to protect, preserve, and enforce the rights we enjoy for all citizens, regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, hair color, favorite sports team, geographic location, and SEXUAL ORIENTATION. I enjoyed attending schools with Chinese, White, Black, Mexican, Indian, Persian, etc. students and I have Brown v. Board of Education to thank for it. I like not looking for the "Koreans only" bathroom when my bladder is about to burst. Equal rights is an awesome thing and it's one of the things that makes me so proud to be an American. I think it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to not see a ban on same-sex marriage as anything other than discrimination.  You are creating a second-class of citizens that don't enjoy the same rights as the majority on the basis of one feature - their sexual orientation. 

But of course, there is the kicker - the "volta" if you will. Homosexuality is SIN. Not just because it is an uncomfortable notion or just because it deviates from the norm but because biblically, it is what you would classify as a sin. And therein, lies the bottom line. 

Is same-sex marriage rights a price I have to pay for enjoying the freedoms that I do now? I think it should be.

Does "yes" on Prop. 8 go against the Christian mantra of unequivocal love for all, including sinners? It might. 

Does it make me a hypocrite to enjoy these freedoms and tolerate discrimination against others based on sexual orientation? ABSOLUTELY

But what else can I do? It seems there's no middle ground in this case. "Civil unions" is Plessy v. Ferguson for the 21st century. My pastor said that whenever you are caught in a dilemma, side with grace. Am I really showing grace by voting "yes" on Prop. 8? 

There are a lot of questions about the issue that I have no idea how to answer. But I do know what the Bible says about homosexuality, and the day I came to know Christ was the day I vowed to serve Him. So it seems I have no other choice.

So I am going to vote "yes" on Prop. 8. I am going to say "yes" to discriminate and establish a status quo that seems incredibly undemocratic and fundamentally unamerican. Just like Warren Burger, I am going to take a stand against equality.  Not because of the ludicrously IDIOTIC arguments about gay marriage being taught in schools and the floodgates opening for all sorts of social deviants and the concept of family being destroyed (see Slippery Slope Fallacy), but because I am going by the only thing I know for sure. I think it is the only way to justify voting "yes" on Prop.8, because it is a sin and there is nothing more to be said on the matter.

Whether I vote "yes" or "no", I will be disgusted with myself so it is better that I side with God, right?

P.S. I am not advocating you to vote any certain way. The only way a democracy will truly represent the will of the people is if the people vote according to what they think is important, not what some blogger tells them. So do your part, think about the issues, and cast your ballot with your OWN views in mind.