Does Stu Lantz have ESP? (or maybe he just has amazing hearing)

Whenever you watch Laker games on KCAL9, you are graced by the voices of Stu Lantz and Joel Meyers. They're not exactly the best commentating team (how awesome would it be to have Tommy Smyth commentating NBA games) but they do say some bizarre things that keep the games entertaining during the lulls (e.g. away @OKC). 

I'm sure many people have picked up on this but Stu Lantz loves to make up dialogue for what's happening on the floor. He likes to make up for KCAL's lack of TNT's "Wired" (where they put a mic on a player) by sticking in his own dialogue about what they are saying (or sometimes...gasp...what they are THINKING).

Exhibit A:

On a fast break play with Kobe and Ariza vs. the Bulls. Kobe throws a lob up backwards for Ariza to finish at the rim but Ariza passes it back.

What probably happened

KB24: This n00b better finish this alley-oop

TA3: F&*#* what kind of retard pass is this, now I have to try and save it

KB24: My team sucks, time for a trade demand

What Stu says happened

TA3: I don't want it

KB24: Ok, I do!

Exhibit B:

On an alley-oop from Gasol to Kobe vs. the Pistons.

What probably happened

PG16: !Tomar la bola saltando hombre negro¡

KB24: WTF you say to me? Ship your ass out!

What Stu says happened

PG16: Go get it!

Kobe: Oh? Go get it? That's my nickname!

Make sure to listen for it next time. Nothing says "Stu-ism" like faux, corny dialogue between Laker teammates.