Glory Glory Hallelujah!

A little over a year ago, I was baptized at what is now my home church and shared my testimony with my brothers and sisters. My baptism was right before finals week so my testimony was a little rushed and I wasn't properly prepared to go up to the pulpit, but it was a tremendous blessing for me to see where God had brought me.

So fast forward to today. The weird thing about testimonies is that they are constantly growing. This is because God is constantly working in our lives. So I wanted to make a little annual tradition for myself to reflect and build upon my living testimony before a living God.

I remember that when I was first trying to write my testimony, I couldn't pinpoint the single event that brought me to Christ. I didn't see the flashing lights that Saul saw, and I took this as a sign that my own testimony was "nothing special". But one day, after men's discipleship, I was in James Chung's STI (r.i.p.) and talking to him about my testimony and I shared the same concern with him, that I couldn't pinpoint what brought me to Christ. His response was just to laugh a little bit and say "it was God!"

"It was God"

I was looking for some amazing story of a life/death situation to validate that my knowing Christ is a miracle. I wanted some moving story about how I beat smallpox and saved people from a burning building. But I failed to see the true miracle, that Christ took an incredibly hardened heart and an immature mind and broke them apart with His glory. It was ALL God.

What I realized is missing from my previous testimony is repentance. God showed me His glory. He showed me the good news. He showed me grace. But I never brought my sins before Him to be judged. I never brought my pride before Him to be crushed. I never asked Him to completely wipe my slate clean so that I could be reformed in the image of His perfect son.

Which brings me to where I am today. I've heard that God has to be the #1 priority in our lives over and over again. That everything has to be for building His Kingdom on earth. But today, I broke down in prayer and admitted that I have no idea what that means. I've seen examples through Christ, the disciples, Paul, etc. but I can't see how that fits into my life. I need Him to change my heart once and for all so that I can pick up my cross and follow Him.

I never imagined how hard it is to be a Christian. I stumble constantly and I am positive that I make others stumble as well. But what I do know is that our God, the one who brought me to hear His voice, can change my heart because "He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ". LORD, help me trust in You.

Let's all praise God together.

In closing...

1:27:58 AM me: that always helps me set things straight
1:28:07 AM me: "Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"
-Phillipians 3:13-14
1:28:24 AM highs0cieties: sick verse

sick indeed