No, You Are Wrong

Here's something I hear a lot. 

"Dude I'm going to get an iPhone because I need it."

Now I don't have any problem with people that say they got a crackberry or iPhone simply because they want one. That's totally fine. If there's a toy out there you want, save up some money and go out there and get it (or ask mom and dad to get it for you). But there's this strange way people like to justify their purchases by turning something they want into something they need.

Especially for people in school, where does the need for an iPhone come in? Are you taking 4 classes so your schedule is going to be CRAZY??? Do you need to make sure you can respond to your facebook wall posts while walking to class? Do you need to update your twitter so everyone knows "how stoked you are to go out with the gurlz tonite?" 

And for the young professionals out there, you sit in front or in the vicinity of the computer for a good chunk of the day yet you need a separate device for e-mail? I can understand if you are in a field where you must be on call 24 hrs a day, then it is necessary to have access to e-mail at all times of the day. But if your day ends when you leave the office,  then your attachment to e-mail should end too. And besides, how often do you use those things for something work related? (FYI: Going on BBM != work related)

Smart phones are fun, convenient,  etc. but do not try to justify spending ~70-100/month by saying you need one because chances are you don't . The people who need them will get the plan subsidized by their employer and everyone else can enjoy using it to download the lightsaber app. pew pew.

If you want one, just say you want one because the moment the word need passes through your lips, you make yourself look a little bit douchier. 

With that said, I want an iPhone for no damn reason.

UCL

Champions League knockout round starts in ~12 hours. 

Arsenal are looking truly mediocre in EPL play but AS Roma is beatable and we need to bide time until Walcott and Cesc come back so we can have some semblance of a REAL midfield. Scheiss. Need to look for nothing short of a miracle in this one.

I hope manyoo crashes out in the first round. 

UP THE ARSENAL!

Fat + Stogies = No Plz

Take a look at the picture above.

If you could put your gut reaction (no pun intended) to the picture in one word what would it be?

Sexy?

Hot?

Lovely?

Jizz in my pants? (I cheated)

Now smoking is not good for anyone. This is a well known fact. No one starts smoking because they want to run the LA Marathon.

But smoking is ESPECIALLY bad for fat people. It's so bad that they should never have an excuse to smoke in the first place. Think of it in this way, there are two primary reasons why people start smoking:

(1) Stress Relief: We all know this is bunk because cigarettes taste like crap to everyone the first time. Cigarettes become a stress reliever after you have the nicotine pumping through your veins. So if you don't smoke, then you don't have nicotine in your veins, and then it won't be a stress reliever. So on to the real reason one might start smoking...

(2) To Look Cool: This is it. The holy grail of reasons to start smoking. Everyone will give you their bullshit rationale for why they picked up their first pack of Marlboro Reds but this is the real reason right here.

Everyone looks cooler with a white cancerstick poking out of their lips or between their index and middle finger. Why do you think the smoking patio at clubs are always packed? Because every douche inside is trying to make themselves look cooler. However, not EVERYONE looks cooler. People that do not look cool are usually:

• A little kid
• An infant
• Someone inherently uncool (e.g. Joseph Stalin, Strom Thurmond, Judas Iscariot)
• Fat

Yes fat people are incredibly unattractive smokers. That is because their massive bodies dwarf the tiny little cigarette. They also do a good job of advertising the many negative health effects of smoking with their wheezing, heavy breathing, and awful smell. So if you cannot look cool smoking, then why start smoking in the first place? Either drop the pounds or drop the Parliaments and do yourself and everyone who might glance at you a favor. Keep the bones out your bizzyness.

Songs I'll Never Get Tired Of v.III

Broken Social Scene - Almost Crimes

The indie rock supergroup from Canada seems to be unclassifiable. They don't fit neatly into any particular genre because like the band itself, they are always experimenting. "Almost Crimes" is my personal favorite track from the album "You Forgot it in People" because it just beats the crap out of you from the beginning to the end. It starts with some cluttered piano scales and static and goes right into a drummer that sounds like he discovered cymbals for the first time ever.  The way the song is arranged is a three way  conversation between Kevin Drew, Leslie Feist (from iPod Nano fame), and a saxophone. The song ends with every instrument going crazy and Drew and Feist just screaming out "I think it's almost crimes" until the entire band fizzles out together. Legen...wait for it.... DARY!

For your consideration:

Almost Crimes - Broken Social Scene

Get Off the Bandwagon

Hello! Do you know me?

This goes out to those who say I am a "bandwagon" fan because Pierce was, and is still one of my favorite players.

This goes out to those who say I am a "bandwagon" fan because I love watching LeBron play.

Oh you say you hated the Celtics the whole time? Before KG and Jesus Shuttlesworth? Did you really hate a team that went 24-58 the year before? Did you even know who Paul Pierce was? Raef Lafrentz? Tony Delk?

"But Lakers and Celtics have always hated each other!"

Yeah, I remember watching the Magic-Bird rivalry when i was -3 years old. Those were the days huh? I also remember voting for Reagan.

I'm glad you found your way back to southern Cali after the Warriors decided to return to the bottom of the league standings. You can hang up the "We Believe" shirt and throw on the #24 jersey now.

Let me tell you a secret:

Being a Laker fan doesn't mean you have to hate every team the Lakers lose to. It also doesn't mean that you have to hate every player that is in the MVP race besides Kobe. It is very possible to like another player from another team. 

Liking Lebron is not an affront to Kobe. They're different basketball players, get used to the idea please. Just take a breath and get off deeez.

Not a Cavs fan, just a Lebron fan. Not a Celtics fan, just a Pierce fan. Just like you're not a Lakers fan, just a Kobe fan. 

Go Lakers, keep that jello jiggling. And I still hate Odom. Forever. Even if he averages a triple/triple. Okay maybe not if he averages a triple/triple.

And here's a nice song to set the mood!

Get Off The Bandwagon - EPMD

Songs I'll Never Get Tired Of v.II

Dilated Peoples - Worst Comes to Worst

I'll say right off the bat that I don't think Dilated is that great. I've listened to "The Platform" and "Expansion Team" and aside from a few songs here and there, they are boring as hell to listen to. Evidence and Rakaa can spit decent but I feel like Babu lays down some pretty monotone tracks for the most part.  

I guess it's no coincidence that this track is produced by The Alchemist.  This is one of my favorite all-time beats. Babu does his contribution by cutting in the Mobb Deep "Survival of the Fittest" sample in between verses and playing with the fader as if he's touching turntables for the first time. Rakaa and Evidence also do a decent, but not stellar, job on the track (with the scale tipping in Rakaa's favor). GURU is featured on this track too, but he lays down an absolute piece of crap on the beat. Awful. It's like he can't rhyme properly without Primo.  In spite of GURU's misstep, the beat takes care of everything here, with William Bell samples ushering in the end of the track.

I've listened to this song 1000 times, and I'll listened to it 1000+ more.

Note: Can you spot Lamar Odom in the video?

Do the Wicked Never Lose?

There's nothing here worth saving

there's no one here at all

is there any net left, that can break our fall?

It will be a day like this one, when the sky falls down

and the hungry and poor and deserted are found

Are you discontented?

Have you been pushing hard?

Have you been thrown down this broken house of cards?

It will be a day like this one, when the world caves in

This Switchfoot song was the soundtrack for my trip in NYC. I took it from Roy's laptop and got hooked instantly. The feelings of emo-ness it produces while waiting for the 1 train at the 96th St Station are something else.

What made this song stick out to me was how it put my complaining heart in perspective. There's so much I seek for my own personal gain without even thinking if it glorifies God. We make hundreds, or even  thousands of decisions each and every day, but how many of them do we involve God in? Can you count the number on one hand? 

The short-term outlook is killing me. The moment I think of everything in terms of a 6-month time span is when I take my eyes off the terms of my salvation. And just like the mega i-banks that pawned off CDOs and SIVs like crack rocks and tailored everything to the year end bonus, it's truly a path to nowhere. 

Eugene was sharing with me how many of us get so caught up in what others have. There are non-believers that are more successful, healthier, have better relationships, and so many other things that even the most devout of believers do not. But he shared with me the following verse:

"Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another,

And the LORD listened and heard them;

So a book of remembrance was written before Him

For those who fear the LORD

And who meditate on His name

"They shall be Mine," says the Lord of hosts,

"On the day that I make them My jewels.

And I will spare them

As a man spares his own son who serves him

Then you shall again discern

Between the righteous and the wicked,

Between one who serves God

And one who does not serve Him."

-Malachi 3:16-18

God will always remember us for being faithful. If the author of our salvation can remember the lowliest of sinners, then we have no excuse for not remembering Him every waking moment of our lives. When we remember God, it doesn't matter what we have or don't have here, because we know what is waiting for us. Let's do better.

Songs I Will Never Get Tired Of v.I

Shadowboxin' - GZA ft. Method Man

It's only right that I start off this series of posts with a Wu banger. This is my favorite cut off of GZA's "Liquid Swords" hands down. Everything about this track is perfection. Silly Kung Fu movie samples, grimy RZA-style beats with a little bit of tasteful scratching thrown in here and there, GZA coming correct as always, and Meth killing the track like he has never killed a track before. I seriously think the verses Meth lays down in this song are his best ever. Perfectly on beat,  swagger x million + another million, even his bantering over the samples during the "chorus" oozes swagger. 

I think Meth sends out the perfect message to every rapper right before GZA's verse:

"Because your naps ain't nappy enough

And your reefs ain't rugged enough

Bitch"

There it is, no one will ever match the Wu's grimy, rugged, straight NY gutter style. EVER.

For your consideration:

Deja Vu?

I get the feeling I did one of these not too long ago, but per Roy's request:

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

alright. henry...

1. does not beat around the bush

2. hates stinky tofu

3. is a snob when it comes to rap music

4. has a mancrush on Lebron James

5. hates waking up when the hour hand is at the double-digits

6. is scared of getting a beer belly

7. has seen superbad and the first harold and kumar 5 billion times

8. reads calvin & hobbes if he can't fall asleep (from 1st grade until present)

9. has an addictive personality

10. can't stand every song on "rock band", even the ones he used to like

11. is allergic to something at Todai but doesn't know what, so never ever goes

12. used to spend all his money on SB Dunks

13. would rather freeze in cold weather than burn in hot weather

14. doesn't like using a towel more than once

15. is anal about how his mp3s are organized

16. had ear piercings for ~2 yrs

Oscar Picks from Someone who has Watched About 25% 15% of the Nominations

Now that the nominations are out, it's time for an acclaimed film critic like myself to give my thoughts on what the finest performances of 2008!

Best supporting actress

Nominees:
Amy Adams - Doubt
Penelope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis - Doubt
Taraji P Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler

My Pick:
EVA - Wall-E
I haven't seen any of these movies so I'm going to stick with what I know. EVA gave the best performance a white robot that looks a suppository ever can give.

Best Supporting Actor

Nominees:
Josh Brolin - Milk
Robert Downey Jr - Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon - Revolutionary Road

My Pick:
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Gotta go with the Joker here. Sick + twisted = sick wit it.

Best Actress

Nominees:
Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie - Changeling
Melissa Leo - Frozen River
Meryl Streep - Doubt
Kate Winslet - The Reader

My Pick:
Britney Spears - Her Life
Once again, a bunch of movies I have not seen yet (probably will not see ever). But give it up for Britney huh? She went from shaving her head to having the most annoying song on the radio by far. That HAS to net a golden statue.

Best Actor

Nominees:
Richard Jenkins - The Visitor
Frank Langella - Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn - Milk
Brad Pitt - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler

My Pick:
Tony Starks - Ironman
Alright so the only movie I saw out of the nominees was Milk, and Sean Penn was amazing in it, but c'mon, Tony Starks starred in the first comic book movie I ever liked. He was one of the coolest movie characters I have ever seen and deserves a statue for being so. A solid gold rendition of Ironman molded in the same position as the Oscar statues.

Best Picture

Nominees:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

My Pick:
Slumdog Millionaire
Alright so we all know the Dark Knight was snubbed for the nomination. We also all know (by this point) that my pick does not necessarily reflect a film that has been nominated. But honestly, Slumdog is the movie of the year. Dark Knight is cool as hell to watch but Slumdog is cool as hell to watch AND poignant. And they play Sigur Ros - Hoppipola in the trailer too. Also cool as hell. If you haven't seen it, it is a must watch.